orz

[halfcocked]

Okay. I. Okay, I'm asking for it, but. It's overdue. So.

ESSAY/RELATIONSHIP MEME

I play Chisame, Haru, Yamazaki, Viper, Sakurako, Shirley, Devit, and Keroro. \o/

ITP. Make me essay on something! GO ON, DO IT. Or make me relationship meme at you! THAT IS COOL TOO. Uh I play a lot of characters and so does everyone else so like . . . when it comes to relationship memes . . . maybe limit your asking to like, two of our relationships? MAYBE :( Or else you might just get shorter answers or something I dunno.

I PROMISE I WILL FINISH THIS, I PROMIIIIIIIIISE.

Comments

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

That was how the relationship started, and then Hakuren started using the F word (friends, okay--!) and Devit is really twitchy about that kind of thing, ESPECIALLY with humans. It's just . . . I essayed on it, you remember :( It's HIM and it's the Noah and the Bonds and his memories of God killing everyone else in the world. He can never really NOT believe that everyone is going to leave him in the end, because it's all he knows in life. And it's even worse for humans, humans are the ones who turned on him and called him a monster when he became a Noah, and humans are the ones who were so sinful that God had to kill them all, and so on. And humans die. And yeah. He just . . . isn't capable of thinking that any human will ever stick by him or love him. But he's needy and lonely enough and he likes the feeling enough that he's topped by it, even though he's convinced that it's temporary. Devit doesn't REALLY believe Hakuren when he says they're friends and he'll stick by him and whatnot. But he doesn't know what to think when Hakuren doesn't run. Sometimes he tries to MAKE Hakuren run--even moreso when he was Jasdevi, because he's at his most Noah when he's Jasdevi, and he also had Jasdero's influence in there telling him to push people awaaaaay, the Bonds only need the Bonds! BUT HAKUREN DOESN'T LEAVE. :( And Devit is still convinced that someday he WILL and he can't deal with that, and he's mad at himself because he knows it'll fucking hurt and he doesn't want humans to be able to hurt him in that way anymore. But he's not strong enough to break contact because Hakuren feels sooooooo gooooooood. Please don't call me a disgusting monster and run away because I'll cry and that's really embarrassing ._____.

Oh yeah, and there's that ONE LAST THING complicating things which is that, Y'KNOW, Devit wants to bang Hakuren really really bad. AGAIN, when they met, he totally didn't think Hakuren was attractive and was all pissy that Hakuren kept SAYING he did. SHUT UP I'M NOT GAY I DON'T LIKE YOU YOU'RE TOO PRISSY UGH. But actually, Hakuren really is his type physically if not stylistically, because he's around his age, not huge or excessively MANLY in figure (o Ribbons |D), good-looking, smug and smirky, and has really nice long hair (THANKS, JASDERO, FOR THAT FETISH. THANKS). And as they got to know each other better and become friends, that started to ping a little more for Devit, plus again there was the whole dynamic of "THIS GUY IS PRISSY AND HAUGHTY AND UNTOUCHABLE which makes me want to touch him." In bed. :(

So yes. The first time with the mistletoe was. An accident. The second time (after they broke off, Devit told him he sucked, and then went back for seconds) was deliberate. The third time (after they'd been sitting there for awhile and then Devit pointed out that they were still near it, WHOOPS!) was deliberate. The FOURTH time (stalking him down the church hallway) was deliberate. WHEREVER THERE IS MISTLETOE AND YOU, RIBBONS, I WILL BE THERE, PRETENDING THAT IT WAS A COINCIDENCE. :DDD . . . He knows Hakuren isn't attracted to him. And he knows it wouldn't like, make any sense or work out anyway and Hakuren will never like him and blah blah Jasdero blah blah Teito Frau Mikage celibacy Bonds human Noah AND SO ON. And actually it doesn't bother him that much, even though he crushes on Hakuren liek whoa--he's never angsted over it or felt jealous of Frau or Teito, and he probably never will unless they like, get really touchy-feely in front of him or something (he was a LITTLE jealous of Teito shampooing Hakuren's hair just because. THE HAIR!!). But still, he kinda wishes that he could just lock himself and Hakuren into a closet for like, three hours, with a ton of mistletoe, and just rape him with it over and over. :(