AU #666: A TINGE OF DOUBT CROSSES MY MIND

[halfcocked]

[sprawled on Hakuren's bed with his laptop, dicking around on Google again; without preamble, begins to read in an attempt at a silky voice:]


I dream'd this mortal part of mine
Was Metamorphoz'd to a Vine;
Which crawling one and every way
Enthralled my dainty Lucia.
Me thought, her long small legs & thighs
I with my Tendrils did surprize;
Her Belly, Buttocks, and her Waste
By my soft Nerv'lits were--


--her what? This one sucks! Lemme find a better one. Her waste!?

Comments

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

If you want it more than we actually do it, that could be a problem.

[oblivious]

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

I can't really force myself to want it less! You could wear a bag over your head, maybe.

[settles against Hakuren, running a palm lazily down his side]

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

... how often do you want it, anyway?

[twitches a little, unconsciously, in a half-ticklish reaction]

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

. . . I dunno, I mean--I think about it a few times a day, but that doesn't mean I'd really want it that much . . . it just comes to mind a lot when I'm around you! Other times too!

[continues all the way down to his thigh, not demanding, just enjoying the fact that Hakuren is totally naked]

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

A few times a day-- You really think about it that often?

[twitches again, still on reflex, but relaxing and ignoring those sparkles]

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sure, that's pretty normal! That's not weird! Why, how much do you think about it?

[petting Hakuren's side in long strokes, from chest to thigh]

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

Honestly, not that often -- more when you keep bringing it up, but ...

[rolls into it, going heavy-eyed and relaxed, this is kind of hypnotic]

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Eh, well, you're used to not thinking about it! Not that I did much of that either back home, or here at first . . .

[watches him, pausing to stroke his hipbone with a thumb]

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

[blinking slowly as he relaxes]

Mmmm, but you changed that after ... ?

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

[pressing in close and watching as he thumbs over Hakuren's hip and thigh a little]

Yeah. I wasn't interested back home . . . who would I be interested in? My whole life was Jasdero, anyway.

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

[nuzzling in a little, closing his eyes almost the whole way]

Mmmm, there could've been someone, anyone -- you decided you liked me, after all, you didn't have to ...

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

I don't think so. Something changed a little when I got separated from Jasdero that time . . .

[leans in and brushes their lips together, just barely]

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

[parts his lips just a little, breathing gently]

Changed ... ?

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Before that, I never needed anyone but him . . . when I didn't have him, I felt sick and empty, I had to . . . I had to start talking to other people.

[pulls away to speak and then leans back in, kissing feather-light and soft]

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

You really do love him, don't you? You don't really need the rest of us ...

[in spite of this, still relaxed, kissing back equally softly]

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Of course I love him, we're the Bonds . . . at the end of the world, when everything else is gone, even the Earl, the other Noah, in the next life . . . me and Jasdero will still be together forever.

. . . But I, uh . . .

[laps at Hakuren's lips with the tip of his tongue, tracing them]

. . . I like you too, I mean. I love you . . .

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

[blinks a few times, then-- eyes snapping open when the words sink in, staring up with a bright red dereface]

... oh ...

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

[laughs a little, not unkindly, and leans in to speak against the corner of Hakuren's mouth]

It's just different . . . Jasdevi is Jasdevi, that's the most important thing, nothing can ever change that . . . because that's how we were made . . . but you're special too.

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

[beet-red, gaping for a few moments before speaking]

You -- you're just -- I-I mean--! That's--

[swallows audibly] You just say it so easily ...

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

[leans back and looks at]

[ . . . starts going red] S-stop getting all embarrassed, shit, you're making me embarrassed--!

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

Why can't I get embarrassed, you -- you're the one saying embarrassing things like that!

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

I didn't think it was embarrassing until you started acting like it was embarrassing! Saying embarrassing things is your job!

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

But you're the one who said -- that, all right, how am I supposed to take it--I mean, really!

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Then uh, just--just forget it!?

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

--what, no -- n-not unless you're just saying that, but if you mean it--