ITP: MOST AWKWARD NOAH

[halfcocked]

[later that evening, someone is looking for Jasdero]

Comments

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Yeah he should be! But he's not!

. . . Hey, uh. Hey. So. Uh.

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

...Huh? Hee!!

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

U-uh, so . . .

[shit, how do I do this . . . ]

So I--the other day, I mean a couple weeks ago, when you were hiding in the bathroom.

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

...[Oh crap he noticed oh crap what to say?]

.......

..................Dero hid there! Hee!!

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Y-yeah, I noticed that. It's--fine! It's normal! I mean it happens to me all the time! I mean, shit, pretend I didn't say that but--no, it's natural because it happens to guys so--!

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

...Wasn't normal! Was bad! Hee!! A-and Dero doesn't want it to happen again.

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

It's not bad! Just kinda really embarrassing . . . look, that's--what I get about Hakuren, so--

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

Is bad! Hee!! Dero shouldn't... Dero doesn't... Hee!! [So embarrassed.] Dero felt disgusting. Hee!!

Wait... Hakuren? Hee!!

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Y-yeah, I mean, obviously I get wet dreams about him . . .

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

T-that's why? Hee!! [This makes things so, so much worse.]

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

--Wait, what, you didn't know it's--well, not always!? I mean I've also had wet dreams about weird people I don't even like 'cuz I'm a man and that just happens!

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

So Dero can dream about someone, but it doesn't mean he likes him like Dero likes Hakuren. Right? Right? Hee!!

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Right, right! I mean I love Hakuren! I'm marrying Hakuren! But one time I had a wet dream about like . . . I dunno, once I had one about Michael's whore ex-boyfriend and I don't even like him, that was weird. And I woke up and it felt gross, yeah, but--it's not like I did something wrong, it just happens because of your body!

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

[He just blushes furiously, and stares very hard at his pants. They're fascinating, didn't you know?] ...Dero thinks his body should be good. And behave! Hee!!

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

If it did probably almost none of this would've happened . . .

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

...Hee!! Dero is confused a little.

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

--You can, uh, ask me stuff.

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

...Dero doesn't know what to ask! Hee!!

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

I didn't think so . . .

. . . Was it Cross?

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

...Hee!! [Just buries his face in his hands, he doesn't think it's possible to get more embarrassed than this.]

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Shit . . . what is it about him??

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

Hee!! Dero doesn't know what to say! [Face is still in his hands, he won't even look at Devit.]

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

It's just, I don't get it, he's not even that hot, and he's such an asshole, but people fall all over his cock and maybe if he dyed his hair and shaved that ugly-ass beard off . . . !

--Sorry! I mean this isn't directed at you!

[stitched-gold.livejournal.com]

[He's quiet for a minute, and then he all but whispers.] ...Dero likes his hair! Hee!! And... [Shutting himself up about that now.]

...Dero isn't mad! Hee!!

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

His hair would be better blond . . . and what?

[genuinely curious]