AU #666: A TINGE OF DOUBT CROSSES MY MIND

[halfcocked]

[sprawled on Hakuren's bed with his laptop, dicking around on Google again; without preamble, begins to read in an attempt at a silky voice:]


I dream'd this mortal part of mine
Was Metamorphoz'd to a Vine;
Which crawling one and every way
Enthralled my dainty Lucia.
Me thought, her long small legs & thighs
I with my Tendrils did surprize;
Her Belly, Buttocks, and her Waste
By my soft Nerv'lits were--


--her what? This one sucks! Lemme find a better one. Her waste!?

Comments

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

. . . He didn't freak out or get mad, he wanted to hang out with you . . . I'm glad. Even though I kinda wanna die too, it's not that bad, I mean, it coulda been worse and at least he'll never do it again?

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

I think he was looking for you, more than me ... The next thing we know, it'll be Shuri or something ...

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but he was okay with staying even after I offered to go with him. Don't even say that!

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

That's true -- he doesn't seem to dislike me quite as much as he did. You know it'll likely happen, you're thinking it too.

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

So I'm glad! It's just weird for him . . . it was weird for me too! No, no, it's not--it can't get that bad, that was the worst that can happen!

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

At least he seemed satisfied with your explanation -- though why he wanted to watch is completely beyond me ...

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

[covers his face orz] H-he still doesn't really get this kinda thing . . .

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

How does that even work, if you two share memories like you do? I mean, it's pretty obvious that you get it ...

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

We haven't combined in awhile. And it's more kinda--I don't remember his memories like they're my own, more like . . . it's like if my memories were a puzzle that was put together . . . and what he gets is all the pieces.

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

So he's not necessarily going to understand the same things you do, and vice-versa? How does that work, I wonder ...

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

It's just how it is! I don't really wonder about it . . . it's just the way it is to be us. It's like you wondering how you know that smiling means you're happy. And it wasn't really an issue before camp anyway. We're different, though, and we've always been different while we've been like this, we don't get any more the same no matter how much we combine.

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

The same person, but still different people, too ...

[reaching up, tracing the scars on Devit's forehead thoughtfully]

... well. It turned out all right, didn't it?

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

[lowers his eyelids a little and leans into it]

I like it better this way.

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

[keeping his touch light, brushing bangs out of the way]

You do?

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

[tilts his face into it and runs his hand over Hakuren's chest]

We're not as powerful like this, we're not perfect like Jasdevi is, and it feels--weird inside, I mean all the time, it feels like something's missing--but I still like two better than one.

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

[rubbing his thumb over the largest cross, in the center]

And you're sure of that ... ?

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

[closes his eyes and parts his lips a little]

Mmm, yeah--why?

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

[traces]

... I like you better this way, too.

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

[very relaxed on top of him]

'm not really surprised . . .

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

[pauses]

You're not? Why?

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

We go easier on humans when we're like this, I guess. And if you like me, Jasdevi's not the same as me . . . it's not like we could stay like that all the time if we wanted to anyway, though.

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

Easier, you think ... I'm not sure what to think of Jasdevi. I only met him the once -- but I like you better.

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

You're not the only one who's said that. [shrugs] When we're like that . . . it's good, it feels good. But I wouldn't want it forever, not again.

[a-holy-oak.livejournal.com]

I'd miss you, if it happened -- whatever you choose to believe, I would.

[halfcocked.livejournal.com]

Yeah? It's not gonna--don't worry about that!